christmas 2004

merry christmas 2004!!!!
we all had a very nice day, and santa brought so mant wonderful things to our house!!!!

16 months

superman!

you were superman for halloween '04., and very very cute, as ever-
just recently you began to blow kisses, whenever I say smooches., it is quite charming------your such a sweet lil boy!

teeth

you have 2 strong top teeth and 4 lower teeth----
you are 15 months and 4 days old.....
and a true climber
you say daddy buddy, doggie, mommm mmmmmammma
and "light"

Annies song

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rainLike a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again
Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love youCome love me again
Let me give my life to youCome let me love youCome love me again
You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forestLike the mountains in springtimeLike a walk in the rainLike a storm in the desertLike a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my sensesCome fill me again
Words and music by John Denver

water

Water. You are soft and serene at most times but like Wind, you're scary when you're mad. You proabaly have a talent is singing and even your speaking voice is lovely. You have an innocent type of beauty that makes you look younger than you are and you like close relationships with people.

LIT-LULLABY

Lullaby lyrics
Hello there, how was your day?Sorry that I'm was away.Hello there, how is the weather?Sorry I'm not there to play....I'm trying just to make it better for youI know it's harder to understandI'm always gonna love youI promise you, I promiseI'm always thinking of youI promise, I promise youHello there, why are you crying?I know you're trying your best.To be good now for your motherHold her and tell her and you're gonna be OK.I never meant to make you feel so bad.Hope someday you'll understandI'm always gonna love youI promose you, I promiseI'm always thinking of youI promise, I promise youI swear I'm gonna make it up to youI know someday you'll understandI'm always gonna love youI promise you, I promiseAlways thinking of youI promise you, I promise
There are more options to this lyrics:

Annabel Lee

Poem lyrics of Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe.
It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea; But we loved with a love that was more than loveI and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsman came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea.

14 Months and 2 days!

~~~Wow!!!!! you are 14 months now-----such a big boy----exploring your world and everything in it!! really like to climb the chairs and get on top of the kitchen table!!!!! wow----you scare me because you have NO FEAR!
~~~~ 2 top teeth are fully in place and 3 bottom teeth are coming in nicely now---
You are such a well natured, good behaved little boy-----in stores, in the car..., playing...You are just amazing!!!!! Love you so much!!!!
xoxoxoxo I AM SO "proud" to be your momma!!!

love mommy--

~the letter~ & Knoxville Girl

To Whomever:"I know you are feeling the pain of guilt and confusion. I understand that you wish all this never happened and that you wish it would just go away. I can even believe that you truly love me and that your indiscretion hurts you emotionally much the same way it hurts me. I understand your apprehension to me discovering little by little, everything that led up to your indiscretion, everything that happened that night, and everything that happened afterwards.I understand. No one wants to have a mistake or misjudgment thrown in his or her face repeatedly. No one wants to be forced to "look" at the thing that caused all their pain over and over again. I can actually see, that through your eyes, you are viewing this whole thing as something that just needs to go away, something that is over, that he/she doesn't mean anything to you, so why is it such a big issue? I can understand you wondering why I torture myself with this continuously, and thinking, doesn't he/she know by now that I love him/her? I can see how you can feel this way and how frustrating it must be. But for the remainder of this letter I'm going to ask you to view my reality through my eyes."You were there. There is no detail left out from your point of view. Like a puzzle, you have all the pieces and you are able to reconstruct them and be able to understand the whole picture, the whole message, or the whole meaning. You know exactly what that picture is and what it means to you and if it can effect your life and whether or not it continues to stir your feelings. You have the pieces, the tools, and the knowledge. You can move through your life with 100% of the picture you compiled. If you have any doubts, then at least you're carrying all the information in your mind and you can use it to derive conclusions or answers to your doubts or question. You carry all the "STUFF" to figure out OUR reality. There isn't really any information, or pieces to the puzzle that you don't have."Now let's enter my reality. Let's both agree that this affects our lives equally. The outcome no matter what it is well affect us both. Our future and our present circumstances are every bit as important to me as it is to you. So, why then is it okay for me to be left in the dark? Do I not deserve to know as much about the night that nearly destroyed our relationship as you do? Just like you, I am also able to discern the meaning of certain particulars and innuendoes of that night and just like you, I deserve to be given the opportunity to understand what nearly brought our relationship down. To assume that I can move forward and accept everything at face value is unrealistic and unless we stop thinking unrealistically I doubt our lives well ever "feel" complete. You have given me a puzzle. It is a 1000 piece puzzle and 400 random pieces are missing. You expect me to assemble the puzzle without the benefit of looking at the picture on the box. You expect me to be able to discern what I am looking at and to appreciate it in the same context as you. You want me to be as comfortable with what I see in the picture as you are. When I ask if there was a tree in such and such area of the picture you tell me don't worry about it, it's not important. When I ask whether there were any animals in my puzzle you say don't worry about it, it's not important. When I ask if there was a lake in that big empty spot in my puzzle you say, what's the difference, it's not important.Then later when I'm expected to "understand" the picture in my puzzle you fail to understand my disorientation and confusion. You expect me to feel the same way about the picture as you do but deny me the same view as you. When I express this problem you feel compelled to admonish me for not understanding it, for not seeing it the way you see it. You wonder why I can't just accept whatever you chose to describe to me about the picture and then be able to feel the same way you feel about it."So, you want me to be okay with everything. You think you deserve to know and I deserve to wonder. You may honestly feel that the whole picture, everything that happened is insignificant because in your heart you know it was a mistake and wish it never happened. But how can I know that? Faith? Because you told me so? Would you have faith if the tables were turned? Don't you understand that I want to believe you completely? But how can I? I can never know what is truly in your mind and heart. I can only observe you actions, and what information I have acquired and slowly, over time rebuild my faith in your feelings. I truly wish it were easier."So, there it is, as best as I can put it. That is why I ask questions. That is where my need to know is derived from. And that is why it is unfair for you to think that we can effectively move forward and unfair for you to accuse me of dwelling on the past. My need to know stems from my desire to hold our world together. It doesn't come from jealousy, it doesn't come from spitefulness, and it doesn't come from a desire to make you suffer. It comes from the fact that I love you. Why else would I put myself through this? Wouldn't it be easier for me to walk away? Wouldn't it be easier to consider our relationship a bad mistake in my life and to move on to better horizons? Of course it would, but I can't and the reason I can't is because I love you and that reason in itself makes all the difference in the world."


Knoxville girl





I met a little girl in Knoxville,

A town you all know well,

And every Sunday evening

Down in her home I'd dwell.

We went to take an evening walk

About a mile from town.

I picked a stick up off the ground

And knocked that fair girl down.



She fell down on her bended knees,

For mercy she did cry,

"Oh, Willie, Dear, don't kill me here

I'm not prepared to die."

She never spoke another word -

I only beat her more,

Until the ground around me

Within her blood did flow.



I took her by her golden curls

And dragged her round and round.

I threw her in the river

That flows through Knoxville town.

Go down, go down, you Knoxville girls

With the dark and shining eyes.

Go there, go there, you Knoxville girl -

You can never be my bride.



I lit for me a candle,

to light my way to bed.

I got for me a pillow,

to rest my weary head.



The police came down from Knoxville

And placed me in a jail.

My friends could not get pardon

Nor could they go my bail.

I'm here to waste my life away

Down in this dreary old cell,

Because I killed that Knoxville girl,

The girl I loved so well.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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WORDS TO LIVE BY

* After a while u learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to do things today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth...and you learn.... WITH EVERY FAILURE YOU LEARN..........

love~

Love is patient, love is kind.It does not boast, it is not proud.It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,it is not easliy angered,it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.- The Bible : 1 Corinthians 13:4 -

Song Bird

For you, there'll be no more crying
For you, the sun will be shining
And I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
To you, I'll give the world
To you, I'll never be cold
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before
And I wish you all the love in the world
But most of all, I wish it from myself
And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before, like never before,
like never before

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

~blossom~

Time flies

Wow! It is now August 5th, 2004, You are 13 months and 2 days old!!! Boy does the time fly by. You are no longer a baby but a full fledged toddler, toddlin' around all over the place, climbing too!
You are walking fairly steady and with a lot of confidence.
You are such a happy boy-always full of smiles.Nana , Papa, Kalen and myself all attended the 57th annual Lobster Festival yesterday in Rockland....it was your 2nd time there., last year you were only 5 weeks old! :)
~love ya lil' man.xoxoxo mom-

James Patterson latest book-exerpt

Prologue
SAM AND I are sitting on a mostly deserted beach on Lake Michigan a little north of the Drake Hotel in Chicago. The Drake is filled with treasured memories for both of us, and we had dinner at our favorite table there earlier. I need to be with Sam tonight, because it’s one year since, well, everything happened that shouldn’t have happened—it’s one year since Danny died.
“This is the spot where I met Danny, Sam. In May, six years ago,” I say.
Sam is a good listener who holds eye contact beautifully and is almost always interested in what I have to say, even when I’m being a bore, like now. We’ve been best friends since I was two, maybe even before that. Just about everybody calls us “the cutest couple,” which is a little too saccharine for both of our tastes. But it happens to be true.
“Sam, it was freezing that night Danny and I met, and I had a terrible cold. To make it worse, I had been locked out of our apartment by my old boyfriend Chris, that awful beast.”
“That despicable brute, that creep,” Sam contributes. “I never liked Chris. Can you tell?”
“So this nice guy, Danny, comes jogging by and he asks if I’m all right. I’m coughing and crying and a total mess. And I say, ‘Do I look like I’m all right? Mind your own blanking business. You’re not going to pick me up, if that’s what you’re thinking. Scram!’” I snorted a laugh Sam’s way.
“That’s where I got my nickname, ‘Scram.’ Anyway, Danny came back on the second half of his run. He said he could hear me coughing for two miles down the beach. He brought me coffee, Sam. He ran up the beach with a hot cup of coffee for a complete stranger.”
“Yes, but a beautiful stranger, you have to admit.”
I stopped talking, and Sam hugged me and said, “You’ve been through so much. It’s awful and it’s unfair. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you.”
I pulled out a folded, wrinkled envelope from the pocket of my jeans. “Danny left this for me. In Hawaii. One year ago today.”
“Go ahead, Jennifer. Let it out. I want to hear everything tonight.”
I opened the letter and began to read. I was already starting to choke up.
Dear, wonderful, gorgeous Jennifer . . .
You’re the writer, not me, but I had to try to put down some of my feelings about your incredible news. I always thought that you couldn’t possibly make me any happier, but I was wrong.
Jen, I’m flying so high right now I can’t believe what I’m feeling. I am, without a doubt, the luckiest man in the world. I married the best woman, and now I’m going to have the best baby with her. How could I not be a pretty good dad, with all that going for me? I will be. I promise.
I love you even more today than I did yesterday, and you wouldn’t believe how much I loved you yesterday.
I love you, and our little “peanut.” . . . Danny.
Tears started to roll down my cheeks. “I’m such a big baby,” I said. “I’m pathetic.”
“No, you’re one of the strongest women I know. You’ve lost so much, and you’re still fighting.”
“Yeah, but I’m losing the battle. I’m losing. I’m losing real bad, Sam.”
Then Sam pulled me close and hugged me, and for the moment at least, it was all better—just like always.
Copyright © 2004 by James Patterson
Read Chapter 1
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~us~

rOCK gENRE

Grunge! You're all about the music and would even
turn your back on fame just to stay true to
your roots... You reached your high in the
early '90s, but you're still making some good
stuff! Keep rocking!

What genre of rock are you?
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Rembering the loss

Fourteen years ago I gave birth to a baby girl. Four hours later she died because of an internal malformation that was undetectable during my pregnancy. During my short hospital stay, nurses and doctors seemed to avoid me and my questions. What they did say was about the same as what my friends and family were saying. "You're young. You'll have other babies. Try to forget."
I didn't want any other baby; I wanted that one! Forget? How could I forget? Instead I was overwhelmed with crushing, breathtaking grief. I remember how empty I felt the day I left the hospital...an empty womb and empty arms. I never really knew her but I missed her and ached for her so desperately.
Soon after I returned home, everyone acted as if they had already forgotten her, as if they expected me to also. Someone had removed all the baby items I had acquired before coming home, hoping to spare me the pain. Instead, it felt like a further denial of her existence. When I tried to talk about her everyone became very quiet, or changed the subject, or left the room. Friends were very careful not to say anything that might remind me of my experience. Baby shower invitations didn't come in the mail. Birth announcements didn't come in the mail. Many stayed away because they simply did not know what to say. My husband had three days to "get over it" before he was expected back at work. The world kept on spinning as if nothing had happened. I remember thinking that I must have lost my mind.
I thought that if my baby had lived for a while, if people had gotten to know and love her, maybe then I would have been given the affirmation to grieve the way I needed to. But I was the only one with any memory of her, the only one who had the chance to love her. I had no one to share that with, not even my husband. Most of his grief was for me and for the dreams we had shared for this child. I felt all alone as I began my mourning.
Over the years, after much healing, I have had the opportunity to speak with other parents who have had experiences which were similar to mine. As a result of that, and also as a result of my search for answers to all those unanswered questions, I have compiled a list of several "truths and non-truths" concerning the grieving process as it relates to perinatal bereavement.
This is not intended to be the absolute word on the subject, but rather a gauge for the unexpected emotions felt by parents who have suffered this type of loss. Most of the parents I have spoken to agreed that the uncertainty of their grief was frightening and may have been alleviated had they known what to expect.
Friends and family may also benefit from reading this over so they might understand the special kinds of pain and emotions involved in this type of loss and allow them to be expressed.
"THE TRUTH IS..."
The truth ISN'T that you will feel "all better" in a couple of days, or weeks, or even months.
The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning.
The truth isn't that a new pregnancy will help you forget.
The truth is that, while thoughts of a new pregnancy soon may provide hope, a lost infant deserves to be mourned just as you would have with anyone you loved. Grieving takes a lot of energy and can be both emotionally and physically draining. This could have an impact upon your health during another pregnancy. While the decision to try again is a very individualized one, being pregnant while still actively grieving is very difficult.
The truth isn't that pills or alcohol will dull the pain.
The truth is that they will merely postpone the reality you must eventually face in order to begin healing. However, if Your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help maintain your health, use it intelligently and according to his/her instructions. The truth isn't that once this is over your life will be the same.
The truth is that your upside-down world will slowly settle down, hopefully leaving you a more sensitive, compassionate person, better prepared to handle the hard times that everyone must deal with sooner or later. When you consider that you have just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a family, as you heal you will become aware of how strong you are.
The truth isn't that grieving is morbid, or a sign of weakness or mental instability.
The truth is that grieving is work that must be done. Now is the appropriate time. Allow yourself the time. Feel it, flow with it. Try not to fight it too often. It will get easier if you expect that it is variable, that some days are better than others. Be patient with yourself. There are no short cuts to healing. The active grieving will be over when all the work is done.
The truth isn't that grief is all-consuming.
The truth is that in the midst of the most agonizing time of your life, there will be laughter. Don't feel guilty. Laugh if you want to. Just as you must allow yourself the time to grieve, you must also allow yourself the time to laugh.Viewing laughter as part of the healing process, just as overwhelming sadness is now, will make the pain more bearable. The truth isn't that one person can bear this alone.
The truth is that while only you can make the choices necessary to return to the mainstream of life a healed person, others in your life are also grieving and are feeling very helpless. As unfair as it may seem, the burden of remaining in contact with family and friends often falls on you. They are afraid to "butt in," or they may be fearful of saying or doing the wrong thing. This makes them feel even more helpless. They need to be told honestly what they can do to help. They don't need to be told, "I'm doing fine" when you're really NOT doing fine. By allowing others to share in your pain and assist you with your needs, you will be comforted and they will feel less helpless.
The truth isn't that God must be punishing you for something.
The truth is that sometimes these things just happen. They have happened to many people before you, and they will happen to many people after you. This was not an act of any God; it was an act of Nature. It isn't fair to blame God, or yourself, or anyone else. Try to understand that it is human nature to look for a place to put the blame, especially when there are so few answers to the question, "Why?" Sometimes there are answers. Most times there are not. Believing that you are being punished will only get in the way of your healing. The truth isn't that you will be unable to make any choices or decisions during this time.
The truth is that while major decisions, such as moving or changing jobs, are better off being postponed for now, life goes on. It will be difficult, but decisions dealing with the death of your baby (seeing and naming the baby, arranging and/or attending a religious ritual, taking care of the nursery items you have acquired) are all choices you can make for yourself. Well-meaning people will try to shelter you from the pain of this. However, many of us who have suffered similar losses agree that these first decisions are very important. They help to make the loss real. Our brains filter out much of the pain early on as a way to protect us. Very soon after that, we find ourselves reliving the events over and over, trying to remember everything. This is another way that we acknowledge the loss. Until the loss is real, grieving cannot begin. Being involved at this early time will be a painful experience, but it will help you deal with your grief better as you progress by providing comforting memories of having performed loving, caring acts for your baby.
The truth isn't that you will be delighted to hear that a friend or other loved one has just given birth to a healthy baby.
The truth is that you may find it very difficult to be around mothers with young babies. You may be hurt, or angry, or jealous. You may wonder why you couldn't have had that joy. You may be resentful, or refuse to see friends with new babies. You may even secretly wish that the same thing would happen to someone else. You want someone to understand how it feels. You may also feel very ashamed that you could wish such things on people you love or care about, or think that you must be a dreadful person. You aren't. You're human, and even the most loving people can react this way when they are actively grieving. If the situations were reversed, your friends would be feeling and thinking the same things you are. Forgive yourself. It's OK. These feelings will eventually go away. The truth isn't that all marriages survive this difficult time.
The truth is that sometimes you might blame one another, resent one another, or dislike being with one another. If you find this happening, get help. There are self-help groups available or grief counselors who can help. Don't ignore it or tuck it away assuming it will get better. It won't. Actively grieving people cannot help one another. It is unrealistic, like having two people who were blinded at the same time teach each other Braille. Talking it out with others may help. It might even save your marriage.
The truth isn't that eventually you will accept the loss of your baby and forget all about this awful time.
The truth is that acceptance is a word reserved for the understanding you come to when you've successfully grieved the loss of a parent, or a grandparent, or a beloved older relative. When you lose a child, your whole future has been affected, not your past. No one can really accept that. But there is resolution in the form of healing and learning how to cope. You will survive. Many of us who have gone through this type of grief are afraid we might forget about our babies once we begin to heal. This won't happen. You will always remember your precious baby because successful grieving carves a place in your heart where he or she will live forever.
A Mother's Prayer/ Affirmation After Miscarriage
In this time of loss I call upon my spirit within to guide me to my strength so that I may find peace and completion.
I will use this strength to demand of myself and others my need to grieve completely, for this will be my first step to healing.
During my time of grief I will seek guidance not only from my inner spirit but from loving persons who may offer wisdom and comfort.
I need to understand that the soul as well as the physical body needs healing and to pay attentio to this. I will learn to accept that the soul may never heal completely.
I will learn to live not in fear and once again see beauty in my world and purpose in my existence.
In spite of my new knowledge that things happen that cannot be controlled, I must call upon the places within me that tell me I do have control over much of my life and use this control to aid my healing.
Let me recognize the gift in my ability to conceive and carry life however briefly.
Let me take joy in my ability to love so deeply and desire to nurture a soul unbeknownst to me.
Let me find healing in the belief that this oul knew my love for it and that that love helped it to pass to another place.
Let me honor this short life not only with my love but in finding meaning in its existence.
Let me recognize this meaning in not only my ability to survive, but in my fullest appreciation of all the moments motherhood will bring me, along with my deeper compassion and sisterhood to other women who've experienced loss.
Let a part of this soul be reflected in the spirit of my future children, born or adopted, so that I may know it through them.
I will listen to and trust the place in my deepest heart that tells me I will once again be reunited with this soul and will fulfill the need to hold it in my arms.
I will help myself to feel comfort in the knowledge that there is a star in heaven that belongs to me.
by Stacey Dinner-Levin 

Just THINK

IF YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH MORE HEALTH THEN ILLNESS, YOU ARE MORE BLESSED THAN THE MILLION WHO WILL NOT SURVIVE THE WEEK.
IF YOU HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THE DANGER OF BATTLE, THE LONELINESS OF IMPRISONMENT, THE AGONY OF TORTURE, THE PANGS OF STARVATION, YOU ARE AHEAD OF 500 MILLION PEOPLE OF THE WORLD.
IF YOU ATTEND A CHURCH MEETING WITHOUT FEAR OF HARASSMENT, ARREST OR TORTURE OF DEATH, YOU ARE MORE BLESSED THAN ALMOST THREE BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
IF YOU HAVE FOOD IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR, CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK, A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND A PLACE TO SLEEP, YOU ARE RICHER THAN 75% OF THE WORLD.
IF YOU HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK, IN YOUR WALLET, AND SPARE CHANGE IN A DISH SOMEPLACE, YOU ARE AMONG THE TOP 8% OF THE WORLD'S WEALTHY.
IF YOUR PARENTS ARE STILL MARRIED AND ALIVE, YOU ARE VERY RARE, EVEN IN THE UNITED STATES.
IF YOU CAN READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU ARE MORE BLESSED THAN OVER TWO BILLION THAT CAN NOT READ ANYTHING AT ALL.
HAVE YOU THANKED GOD TODAY?

----AUTHOR UNKNOWN----- 

                                                                                                              

 

some favorite quotes

nothing taste as good as thin feels..

who will water all the children of the garden when they sigh

the meanest flower that can rose can give thoughts too deep for tears

it took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes 

don't compromise yourself, your all you've got

the years teach much which the days never know

only woman bleed

you were once wild here, don't let them tame you

as long as I make a difference to a child that is all that matters

count your blessings

our life is what are thoughts make it

there is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child

those who know everything, can't learn any more

to look up is joy 

http://www.jhk1.nl/pics2/tree-of-fairys.jpg

my eyes~

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."

What type of eyes do you have?
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Erma Bombeck

Let's All Wear Purple Hats! In honor of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer. Here is an angel sent to watch over you. Pass this on to women that you want watched over. IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying from cancer). I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's." But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day. Beautiful Women's Month Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen. Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella. Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!) Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway. Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway. Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "clean" and goes out anyway. Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go. Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world. Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life. Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world. Send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends. Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier. Please send this to five phenomenal women today in celebration of Beautiful Women's Month. If you do, something good will happen: you will boost another woman's self esteem. 

A son....

 ~I have a son, a little son.
  A boy completely fine.
  Whenever I see him,
  it seems to me
  that all the world is mine.
 
-yiddish song-
       
 

Ulitmate beauty

You are too innocent and sweet for your own good.

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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no not me!

 


What swear word are you?
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poems & links

From here...is there direction?                    
Listen to your heart, tell me what you hear.
A sprial circle in a hurricane
Please be quiet as I put the little one to bed; as I go feed the hungry child......
Feed the goodness
The purpose is to just be-
mama takes the lead.
For you are my sacred dear.
Be careful you don't wake
Feed your goodness
~Find the peace in your heart.~





 
EMBRACE THE COMFORT OF KNOWING YOUR SOUL
THE STORM NOW OVER
ONLY A SLIGHT AND GENTLE BREEZE
ABOUNDS
GRAB HOLD OF YOUR PASSION
ENTICED BY THE SMILE
ENDLESS SEA- SEA NO MORE
FOR HERE YOU ARE IN MY SOUL
AHH AND WHAT A PLACE TO BE
WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM AN INFANT
SPEAKS WONDERS TO OUR BRILLANT MINDS
CAPTIVATE THE BLUENESS OF EYES
OUR CREATION IS LOVE
OUR LOVE GROWS INTO ONE
ESTATIC,MIND BLOWING, AWESTRUCK,WONDERMENT
FAIRYTALES LILY PADS, AND THUMBILINAS
INNER SPIRIT IS FINALLY FOUND
HERE WITH YOU




                                                     links




http://www.geocities.com/linklist3000/celticfreedom/
 
http://www.hipmama.com/
 

http://www.spiritonline.com/gallery/fairies.html

http://www.state.me.us/cgi-bin/doc/parks/find_one_name.pl?park_id=14 
http://home.golden.net/~dhobson/index.html  
   
                       
   
  

walking S

WALKING!!!!

you took your 1st 5 steps unattended on your own on july 9th!!!!! wow---- you were so very proud of yourself too---look out world here I come!!!!!!~~~~

OFFICIAL

You are one year old on the 3rd of July-.We had a great birthday for you--and me! lol same day lil man.You love the gifts and your sailboat cake-We also attended our annual town parade-which you slept through. You are still toddling around but should be walking within 2 weeks....LOVE YOU STEPHEN CONOR!!!!! What ayear it has been...

oldjournal

wow here we are at 11 months!!! you show no fear as you cruise along all the furniture from the living room, kitchen and dining room. You even happened to find the stairs to upstairs, so we had to put a gate up! You are eating most all table food now, and seems there is no going back to the jar food.We love ya lil' man..., we are planning for your big day next month-- well, "our" big day as we share the very same Birthday!

old journal

 9 month eye opener

wow-you are doing EVERYTHING all at once!crawling , pulling yourself up in your crib and pack-n-play, also one tooth, your 1st one! woohoo stephen!we are all so proud of you!

 
Holy cow!!!!! 10 mths old!!!! Where on earth does the time go?Yesterday, marked your 10 moth day!!! You are really crusin' all the furniture now, fast too! I think you will be walking by 12mths old!!!! Perhaps even sooner! love ya lil' man!

old journal

04.03.04

Happy Spring!~~~Wow!!!!You are 9 months old today, what happened? where did the time go? You are still a fascinating little baby boy. My dear stev-o! You are into everything, if it isnt nailed down, you want it!lol. You love your walker and run in it on occasion. I am so lucky and so blessed to have you as my son. You are the sweetest and most content baby ever.

old journal

feb.5.2004wow! here you are 7 months already., well 7 months and 2 days..., you still continue to amaze me with your good natured personality. you awaken every morning with a huge smile for all of us. the fact is you really make our family whole and complete. love you lil' sweet prince
 
where does the time go?8 months old on the 3rd., 2 days ago..you are my curious george-"my moneky boy!"into everything roaming all around in your walker!you are so much fun to play with and to watch!!!!I thank god for you everyday
 

Fairy Tea Party

Myself, Stephen and Kalen went to the fairy tea party it was fantastic, we even saw a puppet show. The gardens were magical, and the aroma was delightful! Loved the sign "fairies enter here"
 

Quotes on Motherhood

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." -- Jewish proverb

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." -- Lin Yutang

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." -- Honore' de Balzac (1799-1850)

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." -- George Washington (1732-1799)

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class." -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1907- )

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom." -- Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

"Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." --Author Unknown 



----------------- 

strong woman

strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape...but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything...

but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her... but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...but a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them.

A strong woman walks surefootedly...but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face.... but a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey... but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.



------ Author Unknown--

nemo!

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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happy happy birthday

Happy 1st Birthday Stephen Conor!!!~~~~

From last July 6th2003

Stephen Conor

July 3, 2003

12:40 p.m.

11 pounds, .6 ounces

21 ¼ inches



Posted by katkal on 7/6/03



Hi all!! Hope you are all doing well.
Stephen Conor arrived emergency c-section at 12:40 pm on July 3rd, (my bday). I had some slight pre-eclampsia, a 7 lb gain in one week, and my dr.. wasn’t taking any chances.
I will post my birth story later, we just arrived home today at 2:30 TODAY....We are exhausted!
His stats...
weighed in at 11.0.6
head 15
chest 15.5
length 21.1/4.

All is good!!!!! Life is good!!!!! We feel so blessed to have two wonderful children!

Hope all who have had there babies are doing great....and those to come your bundles of love will be here soon...

Hope to get some pictures up soon w/ our story.

(((hugs & best wishes to all)))))

Kathy

July 1st

It is july 1, already!!!! wow does time fly, almost our birthday.
The weather seems a bit cool but nice. Mom & Dad are coming for a trip up today and looking forward to spending some time together.

Fav pic of S

.

greek gods

Hecate


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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What color is your heart?

Your Heart is Red


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day one 6.29.04

celebrated s's bday early, and will have another party on his official 1st birthday. this Saturday.

me, originally uploaded by mama.k.10.